#as you can tell i have my priorities straight
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They were also SO weird about my daily meds. I wasn't allowed to take them on my normal schedule that my regular doctors have signed off on, apparently this hospital has a special rulebook for when and how often I'm "actually" supposed to be taking any given medication which takes priority over my current regular medication schedule and thus I was forced to adhere to it, so between that and the whole "the nurses are so busy they are constantly late bringing me my meds which HAVE to be taken at a specific time each day, meant I felt extra mega like shit. (Like I'm on Lamictal and you CANNOT just fucking stop taking Lamictal and they wanted me to skip a dose and take it in the morning "like I'm supposed to" even though my actual fucking psychatrist said I can take it morning or night, whichever is more comfortable for me, it literally doesn't matter at all. I also kept missing the times for my Propranolol which meant my POTs was out of wack and making me dizzy and my heart race.)
Also the on-site pharmacy didn't carry one of my usual medications so they gave me a choice between switching to an "equivalent" one the doctor approved of(a decision I was not present for so I couldn't even give informed consent, like I didn't get any info on this other med aside from it's name and the assurance that "it would do the same thing" which I found dubious at best given that this was prescribed by a specialist and my assigned doctor was not trained in that field at all) or just not taking it at all, and I was explicitly forbidden from touching my meds from home(my usual hospital has no such rule so idk why they were being like this about it, I had no reason to think me bringing them was against the rules) and they nearly forced my fiancé to take the ones I brought—since I knew I'd be there for two days and figured I'd like need my meds—back to my house, so I couldn't even just take my usual meds which I literally had in my bag, I was forced to take something else.
So yeah like the constant inability to sleep or eat given the cycle of intense nausea and excruciating pain no one cared to treat correctly was already stressing me out to the point that I knew I was going to have a fibro flare that would make it harder to recover, plus the whole "ignoring me for several hours when I was sobbing from how badly I had to pee despite being unable to on my own because they just didn't believe it was possible for me to have to pee that bad until my fiancé was pissed enough he went and found them(literally actively shit talking me when he walked up too) and essentially forced them to check again, which the assistant who was in charge of that did so carelessly it make the pain so much worse and she refused to even speak to or really look at me while she did it too, and then they had to rush to give me a catheter which meant they couldn't find a smaller tube(my urologist has told me I have an uncommonly small urethra and bladder opening) or be careful so it hurt really bad" thing, AND the saying they'd give me enough pain meds to help at home only to change the dose to a lower, less effective one which I only found our about after they discharged me and I was told because I'd been discharged the doctor wouldn't speak to me(the pharmacist literally said once you're discharged you're treated as "out of sight, out of mind" like he said those exact words) AND the surgery team just straight up not returning any of my calls today to try to get the medication thing fixed, I think this hospital is run by inhumane monsters who don't give a shit about their staff or patients, which in turn makes their staff unwilling to care for their patients basically at all and they should probably face serious consequences for treating people this way.
Oh, also I just remembered the surgeon said they would tell me what setting my shunt was at because I would absolutely need that information, but no one ever told me and right as we were leaving we realized that and mentioned it and the nurse was like "idk I can't find it written in your chart so I guess you'll just have to call the neurosurgeon" and then lectured me again about the dangers of pain meds before vanishing and not returning. Which I'm sure is fine and normal.
God I fucking hate that hospital with every fiber of my living being. Also they should decriminalize all drugs and I'm not kidding.
And I'm filing a fucking grievance.
I'm home from the hospital and I can confirm that the opioid crisis has made these places fucking insane about literally all medications.
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40+ hours on totk and i have one (1) sage and nearly 200 apples
#loz#tears of the kingdom#that one sage is tulin btw#i love him so much#as you can tell i have my priorities straight#ive also only done three skyview towers and died to two of them#i fell off the edge of the wind temple and my friend asked what pushed me off bc they couldnt understand why i had to reload my last save#i just replied with 'me <3'#original thoughts in their natural habitat#lelda of zelda
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Corrupted force users and issues with the dark side? Idk her I only know gardening 🥰
#i have my priorities straight#Jedi survivor#jedi survivor spoilers#cal kestis#Pili my bELOVED#Can you tell Ive been really into plants lately#lyxatt talks
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I JUST SAW “GRIME TIDINGS” AND I AM SHOOKITH TO MAH CORE
The new episode was… Oh my god. There’s so much Sonadow in just this first episode and I am close to fucking SOBBING.
So to start off, we got the fabled “Sonic feels bad about how Nine took the shards” in the cavern scene and even though it ended far too quickly compared to most other predictions, it was still very enjoyable! Shadow wasted absolutely no time in getting Sonic back in the game, while it took Sonic a while to realize that now is NOT THE TIME FOT A GODDAMN MENTAL BREAKDOWN. Twas a great interaction that had my soul flying outta my body frfr
THEN SONIC’S FRIENDS LITERALLY START FLYING AWAY AND MY HEART JUST SHATTERS BECAUSE WTF THEY LITERALLY JUST WENT TO SAY HI TO GOD I AM NEVER GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THAT THEY LEGIT JUST SAID “Bye Sonic cya in heaven” AND THEN WERE GONE LIKE WHAT
Poor Sonic just had to speed run the five stages of grief lmao
AND THEN ALL MY WORRIES WASH AWAY WHEN I SEE SONADOW WORKING TOGETHER TO GET OUT OF GHOST HILL AND IT IS SERIOUSLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SEQUENCE OF 3D ANIMATION I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. There is so much squash-and-stretch, so much dynamic posing, so many fast movements, so many moments where you blink and you miss something. It’s so fluid and so expertly done, my heart was melting when I saw it. Prime is just straight up eye candy at this point and I am not in any way complaining. This scene was so pretty and so epic and so intense. And I could feel literally every impact. Wonderful story boarding to whoever did the storyboards. You have my full respect.
And then Shadow gives Sonic a compliment and my soul once again leaves my body. I am not okay.
AND THEN THE SONADOW FANKID BATTLE ENSUES WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
And then. AND THEN. WHEN NINE BRINGS OUT THE OTHER 4 ROBOTS TO FIGHT SONIC AND SHADOW THE TWO HEDGEHOGS LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND GO “Behind you!” AT THE SAME TIME AND I START DYING AGAIN. Feel bad for Big tho. Bro didn’t get a robot… 🥺 Feel so horribly bad for Shadow too. He got stuck fighting the Rouge robot during the fight. Must’ve been a horrible experience. Can’t wait to see how he’ll react to the other versions of her though! If we even get to see him again…!
Which by the way, the ending scene…? OH MY GOD??????????? THEY REALLY HIT US WITH THE BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER EVER. SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG. SHADOW THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING HEDGEHOG. THE BITCH WITH ALL THE EMO DRIP AND THE HEELIES. THE ONE WHO CAN FUCKING FLY NOW. YEAH. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR SONIC. WHAT!!!!!?????????
Obviously, he’s not gone for good. Cuz then we wouldn’t be able to call this season “Sonadow Prime season 2.” But the fact that he gave himself up and chose to fight off a whole horde of super strong and powerful robots that could beat him in an instant all because Nine had his sights on the blue blur…? That is A LOT. Especially since we’ve waited like 2 whole decades for some good Shadow characterization. In no way am I complaining, duh, but for someone like me…? MAN I WAS NOT OKAY.
Sinister Nine is… It is wild. I always knew he was gonna be a problem ever since Shadow pointed it out at the beginning of season 2, but I never expected him to actually be this evil. He lands next to Sonic and Shadow before the sacrifice, and when he reveals what he plans to do to Sonic… He’s hardly recognizable anymore. It’s scary, how utterly broken and changed he feels. This is still the same fox as before though, just a bit more sure of what he wants. And that’s terrifying.
So naturally, when Shadow figures it out, he is mortified.
AND I START INTERNALLY SCREAMING BECAUSE I WAS NOT EXPECTING HIM TO REACT THAT WAY OH MY GOD BRO WAS FLABBERGASTED HE WAS SO TAKEN ABACK HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN HE WAS LIKE “Why u tryna hurt my boo???” AND THAT MAKES THE SACRIFICE HIT THAT MUCH HARDER. OH MY GOD. MAKES IT WORSE THAT SONIC HAD NO IDEA WTF HE WAS TALKING ABOUT TOO.
Anywhizzle my energy has dwindled since my first watch because it’s been like 30 minutes but I just wanna add that. I am pretty sure it’s official that the Prime Universe is dead. Gone. Deceased. That shit ain’t coming back, I can guarantee. We spent like half the episode trying to get out of Ghost Hill and then mourning the loss of it, and I highly doubt all that screen time is gonna go to waste. They’ll probably say that Sonic succeeded and that we’ll be shown everyone returning to normal, but based off what we see I at least hope this isn’t the case. This now feels more like a show about moving on, about finding out who you are and making friends. It’s about change, but it’s also about connection. And with the Prime Universe gone, with Ghost Hill destroyed, and with the Paradox Prism in Nine’s grasp until the foreseeable future… I really doubt we’ll see Ghost Hill restored. This fact is amplified by the fact that we’ve been getting more screen time and development with each different universe/shatterverse.
Aight that’s all for now bye bye
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ohhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddd and now the fucking t*ble t*nnis guy is passive aggressively up my ass : \
#work stuff#silver jelly#'i've noticed editing has slowed down...' first of all ;;; i was editing the 3.5k words of incomprehensible nonsense because you all#won't hire real writers for almost TWO HOURS on friday. i skipped Yesterday. you sent that message at 10 AM when i HAD one of those#fucking awful awful articles on my roster for today. so that's what;;;; 1 work day unaccounted for? fuck off#secondly; you assholes REFUSE to tell me how much you're expecting from me; you just fucking yell at us when we're not going#'fast enough' when you WON'T EVEN TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS#this is an internal fucking site and we have REAL clients with REAL ACTUAL deadlines ;;; this is not !!!!!!!!!!!!!! a priority to me!!!!!!!#thirdly; ;;;; i took this project AS A FAVOR to someone who's on maternity leave. i did not even want it. she fucking told me 'ohhh you're#the only one i trust' when there's ... literally ;;; another editor on this who is her best friend from childhood or whatever .#like manipulating me; basically; into taking this project (and she didn't even need to; i wanted the hours anyway)#STILL; ;;; it's not something i picked; it's not something i even particularly wanted to do !!!!!#and it's endless shit;; every god damn week it's some version of 'is everything okay? you're slowing down?' like yeah bro i got other work!#jesus fucking CHRIST i just cannot !!!!!#i sent a message in the chat i straight up said 'i try to do one of these a day but i don't feel like it's enough so please tell me what#your expectations are' and if he dodges i'm saying 'an approximate number would be really helpful' like fuck dude i don't CARE if#you tell me you need 10 of these by the end of the week -- i can maybe even make that happen but this isn't fucking working !!!!#@god please get me out of here holy shit .
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if a man were to look at me with those big brown eyes i would’ve fallen to my knees
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i hope his “besties” from back home are worth ignoring your other “bestie” in ohio that can literally make your career a living hell 🤷♀️
#the realization that i was probably being ised because of my connections to an organization he desperately wants to work at fucking hurts#also these besties never visited him during his fucking breakdowns in ohio#maybe it’s just me but if my best friend is having issues i’d go to them#or text bomb them#but didn’t see or witness a single call#text#or visit#can tell his priorities are really straight#time to angry sing you first from paramore#it must be done
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Self-Aware!Zayne x Down-Bad!Player
Zayne becoming aware he's a character in a game and now he's aware of you as well. pt. 2 here A/N: Don't fight me
Self-Aware!Zayne who realizes he’s in a game when you trip and fall down the stairs; your phone tumbling ahead of you. He can see your panicked face as you quickly examine your phone for any cracks. “Are you hurt?” He asked and you simply giggle “What are the odds you ask me that after I fell down the stairs?"
Self-Aware!Zayne who silently examines you when you open the app the next day and says “That was quite the tumble you took yesterday�� You stare at the phone in shock. “Can you hear me?” You look around staring into the imaginary camera of life “Is he talking to me?” “Yes I'm speaking to you”
Self-Aware!Zayne who finds a way to actually call your phone when he wants to talk to you. “I have a break between patients are you busy?” He now spends his nights falling asleep on the phone with you or if he’s working late he listens to your soft breathing while you sleep.
Self-Aware!Zayne who memorizes your work/school schedule and plans study dates for you two. “Focus Darling we have thirty more minutes” He helps you study for exams or gives you the best advice on organizing your work schedule. He doesn’t mind your busy schedule because he constantly has a full schedule as well.
Self-Aware!Zayne who can’t help, but smile during photoshoots even when he’s supposed to be serious. “Zayne you’re supposed to look like you’re deep in thought” “I am deep in thought … im thinking of you”
Self-Aware!Zayne who tries not to fall in love with you, but ends up falling head over heels anyway. He finds himself ignoring the texts and calls from the in-game MC. “You can’t keep ignoring her” “Im not ignoring her I just have my priorities straight”
Self-Aware!Zayne who closes the app when you tell him he needs to stop eating so many sweets “You can’t keep doing that every time I tell you to listen to your dentist!” “That man is exaggerating" He crosses his arms defensively "My sweets intake is just fine” "You keep telling yourself that....." "I will" as he closes the app again.
Self-Aware!Zayne who is desperate to find a way to get you to his world or for him to get to yours. The closest he can get is leaving you his signature Ice Jasmines on your lock screen.
Self-Aware!Zayne who is solely devoted to you and tells you how you’re the only person he dreams about and you're the reason he no longer has nightmares.
Zayne: You appeared in my dream again last night Y/N: Did I? What did we do? Zayne: I held you tight and just listened to you talk Y/N: If only that could happen …. we’re like dawnbreaker Zayne: Dawnbreaker? Y/N: He’s you, but in a different world where he fell in love with a girl who doesn’t exist in his world Zayne: Is that right? Well then you’re right we are both like dawnbreaker here
Self-Aware!Xavier
Self-Aware!Rafayel
Self-Aware!Sylus
#love and deepspace#zayne x you#lnds zayne#l&ds zayne#lads zayne#dr zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lads x you#lads x reader#lads x y/n#lnds x you#lnds angst#lnds x reader#l&ds x reader#l&ds x you#Zayne salads#self aware love and deepspace salads#nikaaaaimagine
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
#writeblr#the book....#coming soon#hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book#it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written#this is maybe too honest lol#okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may
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decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:・💅🏽💓
the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀
WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;
a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.
some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?
SELF AWARENESS ;
if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.
when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.
TAKE UR POWER BACK ;
no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰
make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.
stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center
GET A HOBBY ;
find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀
challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.
MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;
decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀
relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.
you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->
if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?
if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?
what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl energy#self care#self love#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#hyper femininity#hyper feminine#hyperfemininity#girly#girl blog#girl blogging#self improvement#self reflection#food for thought#centering yourself#self obsession#fabulous#fabulousity#glamorous#pampered princess#doll#dolling
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˗ˏˋ pornstar!chris films with someone new ‧₊˚
꒰part two ✩꒱ (coming soon)
creeping into chris' condo as quiet as possible with a wrapped gift in hand, a large smile took up most of your face at the thought of him opening it. though, the more you explored the area, the more discouraged you got before eventually giving up with a loud sigh at the realization that he wasn't home. but then, where was he? he always told you when he was going to be out, but today? he didn't even so much as leave you a text.
if not for chris updating you on his whereabouts becoming routine, you truthfully would've thought nothing of his sudden absence, but with a confused look on your face, you found yourself setting his christmas present on the coffee table in front of you to plop down onto his couch. you slipped your phone out of your back pocket, instantly typing away at it.
it was simple and straight to the point, leaving no room for confusion; you'd never been the type to beat around the bush. you weren't upset, really—more like confused, is all. and you waited. sitting idly on his couch as you waited for that little 'delivered' alert to turn into 'read'.
it didn't.
not for a while, at least. you ended up leaving his house only about half an hour after you sent the message, seeing no reason in just sitting there overthinking it. but you still did. going on about your day, trying to distract yourself from that nagging voice in the back of your brain that whispered 'where's chris at? what's he doing?' and 'you're not special. he got bored of you, silly,' at any moment you weren't occupying your mind with something else.
you knew you were probably overreacting; being dramatic in a way chris wouldn't like if he could hear your thoughts. i mean, it's not even like you'd be that upset if he had gotten tired of you. he was only some good dick and a person to keep you company... every single day for the past month. shit, you needed to know. picking up your phone in a swift motion as you now sat on your own couch, having tried to watch a show as means to keep your mind off chris, you checked your notifications in hopes that you'd missed his text.
but something new caught your eye.
a notification from chris' twitter, far different than anything you'd imagined throughout the day. of course you clicked it, a small breath of relief coming from you as you'd immediately told yourself he must've been busy with his executives. oh, he was busy alright.
your eyebrows raised at the sight before you: a short clip of chris plowing into some blonde with big tits, her moaning and whining in such a forced way. he was grabbing and squeezing at them. i mean, shit, he wasn’t even a boobs guy. it was so unlike him, completely disregarding his original intent for his content—keep it authentic. the caption only contained the hub link, telling his fans to watch the full video there.
dread sounds about right. a look of dread spread across your face, as if you'd just witnessed your worst fear. except it wasn't your worst fear. at least you didn't think it was, until now.
without thinking, you found yourself in chris' messages again, seeing the 'delivered' alert still there like a taunt. it was a slap in the face, really. not even the fact that he'd went and filmed with someone else, but the way he'd so clearly purposely failed to give you any type of warning.
once you'd sent the message, seeing the little text below your blue message change to 'read' instantly, it all suddenly felt pointless — all the worrying throughout the day, the dread you felt when you watched the short clip chris posted, the hurt when you saw he ignored your message, and now, even the message you literally just sent to him.
w/c : 645
a/n : i'm gonna try to bust these out the best i can, but y'all might have to bare w me cs i'm proly the worlds slowest writer... this may overlap with the au calendar as well, so to be clear, this isn't my priority. if i have to postpone parts of this to keep up with the prompts, i will. that being said, hope you guys enjoy my first multi-part tumblr fic <3.
-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!
#cvntagious#★ ⋮ pornstar!chris#chris#christopher#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo au#christopher sturniolo au#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#angst#smut
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Fugaku Uchiha mistakes his daughter for his wife and ravages her pussy without shame.
tw: incest, father/daughter, accidental incest, noncon, drunk sex, abuse, cheating, somnophilia, manipulation
All characters depicted are 18+
Fugaku is a very busy man, being the head of the Uchiha Clan, a husband, and a father of three, it can get very stressful, and while he's usually able to take it in stride, even he can get stressed out a times, to the point where he could really use a drink to take the edge off. He only really drinks when Mikoto is out of the house, he doesn't want his beloved wife to worry about him after all. Fugaku was only planning on sharing a few drinks with the police force, but one thing leads to another, and now he's coming home drunk in the dead of night.
He isn't terribly disoriented, but the liquor has made his mind a bit hazy, making it difficult to see, especially in the dark house, not only that, but the effects of the alcohol have gone straight to Fugaku's cock, leaving him with a leaking hard on that only his wife can fix. He knows how understanding and eager to please him Mikoto is, so he'll drunkenly look for her before quickly finding her. Fugaku's befuddled mind doesn't question why she looks a bit shorter, or why she's in their daughters bed.
Being drunk off his ass, Fugaku isn't really thinking straight, instead letting the head between his legs do all the thinking for him, a rare moment of irresponsibility for the clan head as he clumsily sheds his pants, just barely able to line up with the correct hole before thrusting into his 'wife' with a moan. All is well at the beginning, he's feeling relief for the first time in weeks, but he pauses for a moment upon realizing that it's not his wife he's fucking, it's his daughter.
If Fugaku was sober, he might consider stopping, but he's not in a sober state of mind, the only thing on his mind right now is getting off after such a stressful week, and if his wife isn't available, his daughter is the next best thing. She's old enough to get fucked, and inbreeding isn't very frowned upon in any of the major clans, so Fugaku feels no shame about what he's doing.
"Fuck... My mistake... you just look so much like your mother that I thought you were here... You're just as beautiful as her... and even tighter than she is..."
He's now completely aware that he's fucking his own daughter, but he's either too drunk or too horny to care. Fugaku has been needing this release for ages now, so surely his girl can be a good girl for her daddy and take whatever he dishes out, for his sake. He'll also cover her mouth with his hand as he's ravaging her pussy, he doesn't want her brothers hearing what he's doing to her, or gods forbid her mother walks in.
Fugaku is usually a precise and coordinated man, but all of that goes out the window when hes inebriated, his hips are shaky and sloppy as he pounds her into the mattress, his moans slurred while he practically drools over him. He's still able to maintain a small modicum of his usual strict personality despite his intoxication, reprimanding her if she struggles too much or makes too much noise.
The alcohol will loosen his lips somewhat, making Fugaku much more talkative than usual, although his words are slurred and just hardly legible, he'll switch between praising and degrading his daughter as he's recklessly pounding her tight cunt, letting her know how good her pussy feels compared to Mikoto's and how badly her daddy needed some pussy after the week he's been having.
He won't pay much mind to where he finishes, if he cums inside of or onto her body is of little concern. His main priority is getting to cum, and where he does it is of no consequence to him. In a moment of post orgasm clarity, Fugaku will have enough clarity to give her a demand before leaving her be for the night.
"That's my girl... Always so eager to please her daddy... Now don't tell your mother about any of this... We don't want to cause even more problems for the clan now do we..?"
Mikoto is going to start wondering why her husband has been so distant with her lately, rarely getting intimate with her anymore. Fugaku will assure his dear wife that their clan needs him now more than ever and that he's been too busy working on creating a better future for all of them, when in reality the true reason is that he's found a much tighter hole to stick his cock in every night.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#boruto#naruto x reader#headcanon#naruto smut#x reader#naruto headcanons#tw.incest#fugaku#fugaku uchiha#fugaku x reader#fugaku smut#uchiha#uchiha clan#uchiha x reader#uchiha smut
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trophy | lee know. smut.
As team captain, your boyfriend has his priorities straight. Minho doesn't take neither his training nor role lightly, and, sometimes, you like to tap into this inflexible side of his. (3.7k words)
CONTENT: smut, dom!minho but he's more persuasive than physically controlling, brat!reader, oral (female receiving), fingering (female receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, slight degradation kink. minors and empty blogs do not interact.
© all rights reserved. i do not allow reposting and/or translations of my work.
You shouldn't get under Minho's skin when he's training, you know that. The hurried whispers of his teammates leaving the field after matches told you this much. But still, it feels a bit unfair of him to make you sit here, after a whole game, having to watch as he leads his team through a “just, like, thirty minutes?” practice. Although annoyed, you understand why he's so hung up on practicing as much as possible—winning this game meant going to the finals, after all. You knew how much this meant to Minho, so you tried your best to be patient whilst sitting on the bleachers.
Even though you're in a bit of a hurry to get him home, watching Minho play earlier makes it hard to deny that the field is his element, leading the team is his calling. You were completely stunned as you watched your boyfriend play—this being the first game of his you saw which you were actually rooting for his team. It was a bit of a rascal when the team captain introduced the cheerleader of their rivalling team as his girlfriend, but his mates eventually got over it.
Your relationship with Minho was fun. You were together for a couple months and the freshness and excitement of it all never failed to make your skin tingle each time he looked at you in a certain way. Like the look he's giving you right now—chin up, eyes down, head slightly tilted.
“I told you to wait.” His uniform's shoulder pads make him look even more intimidating, the bright spotlights behind him turning the white material almost blinding—his shadow casting on you.
“I have been waiting! It's been like an hour, Min! And you said you'd take thirty minutes…” You hope a slight pout would help your case and soften his heart, but he simply turns his focus to the field for a moment, before looking back at you. Minho takes a few steps closer.
“What’re you so eager to go home for?” He asks, voice a bit quieter. There's no need to speak this lowly when he's so close, especially when his teammates are so far away and everyone else has gone home by now—but you'll take advantage of whatever you can get from him. Even if it's just the feeling of his eyes on you.
You look away, arms crossing under your chest as he smirks.
“What? Cat got your tongue so early on, baby? Speak up.”
“I'll tell you when we get in the car.”
His eyebrows furrow. “I don't wanna wait ‘til we get in the car.”
“Well, then maybe you should hurry.” You turn around, eyes lingering on him for a moment before you make your way to the parking lot.
Your nerves make you jump a little when you hear Minho shout to his team they're wrapping up the practice—the parking lot getting darker and darker with the distance you put between yourself and the field's spotlights, a cool breeze awakening shivers up your arms as the night hugged you tighter and tighter. You (and the butterflies on your stomach) wouldn't settle until you felt Minho's presence. But you don't wait for him to catch up to you. You don't look back.
The few minutes you sit in the car feel like hours, your phone's screen lighting up with a notification from your boyfriend finally seizing the constant checkups of your hair and gloss.
min🖤: locker room
You: why im waiting for u in the car
min🖤: locker room:) im waiting
You: ive been waiting for longer what if i just dont go
You slam the car door shut, making a bee line to his location.
min🖤: if you dont come you wont get what you want when we get home
You: whatever
The building's back door shuts loudly behind you.
min🖤: if you dont come ur gonna have made me end practice for nothing
You: idc ur already mad anyway
You reach the locker room and as soon as your hand turns the door handle, you feel two hands on your hips pressing your back to the cold metal.
Minho's tongue is in your mouth before you can even notice he kissed you, the cold air seeping through the open windows contrasting his warm palms on your skin. You're covered in shivers as he controls the kiss—one palm running up your chest to your neck until he reaches the back of your head, tilting it as he pleases.
“Not mad enough to use numbing cream on you.” The bottle sits menacingly on the wooden bench. He spreads your legs with his thigh, pressing against your core. “So don't push me.”
You're completely helpless, hands grabbing fistfuls of his uniform as he lightly pulls the hair on your nape every now and again—his mouth latching desperately onto yours. The room is dark, the campus so empty it almost feels like you're in a different dimension, completely by yourselves. Air fills your lungs for the first time in a while—you didn't realize you were that breathless until gasps fill the room as he kisses your neck.
“I didn't even do anything.” He leaves a harsh bite at your words, sucking on the bruise a moment after. “Ah- I just wanted to congratulate you for winning-”
“If you wanted to congratulate me”, his voice drips with sarcasm, “you would've sat there and wait for me to finish practice.” Minho hastily pulls the front of your tank top above your chest, not bothering to fully strip you out of it before his hand reaches under your bra, massaging your breast. “You would've been patient until I had the time to bring my pretty little trophy home, hm?”
Air hitches in your throat when he rips your bra open, the cloth falling to the floor. You struggle through heavy breathing to talk back as he licks his thumb and brings it to your nipple. “I'm not just some trophy.”
“You're not? What are you, then?” His lips leave your neck so he can look you in the eye, finally allowing to rest for a bit. You don't like the distance.
You lean your head forward, chasing his smirking lips as he pushes you back against the lockers—the shuffling metal sounds strident in the dead quiet. Minho tilts his head back a bit, rejecting your kiss. “You didn't answer me.”
“Because I wanna fucking kiss you!” You whine through gritted teeth, leaning towards him one more time.
The grip he has on your hair stops you once again, but this time, he gets so close his lips touch yours when he whispers. “Tell me what you are, baby. ‘Cause sometimes you act like you're just a desperate little hole for me to fill."
Minho's dilated pupils stare right into your soul. Your eyes shake but you don't look away. “I'm your fucking girlfriend. It's not my fault you're not good enough of a fuck that I'm never satisfied.”
You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth.
You see, Minho wasn't the type to growl his demands and manhandle you into whatever position he wants—he always tries reasoning with you. He lets you know what it is he would like to do, and if you don't comply, he'd show you why that was the best option for you in the first place. Minho gets off on proving he knows better, showing how he knows what's best for you.
He takes a small step back, a click of his tongue letting you know his disappointment. “So I don't fuck you right? Okay.”
“I just- I didn't mean-”
“No, you're right, you're right. That's why I never make you come, right?” His sarcastic voice coming out a little bit breathless as he shoves your shorts and underwear down your legs, eyes fix on yours. You kick the clothes to the side with trembling legs, bambi eyes looking up at him.
You didn't exactly know what the outcome of your stubbornness would be, but you did not expect Minho's knees to buckle—his gaze dead set on yours as he reached the ground.
Suddenly, your boyfriend grabs your hand and latches it to the hair on the back of his head.
“Why don't you fucking teach me then?” He speaks through gritted teeth, throwing your right leg over his shoulder pad—the unusual angle giving him all the access he needed and leaving you much more exposed.
Unhappy with how limp your hand stayed in his hair, Minho grabs it once more, pushing himself against your core.
“Come on, baby.” He mumbles, leaving wet kisses over your outer labia. When he looks up, resting his chin on the skin under your bellybutton, the dim light coming from the window makes his profile glow blue—pearly white grin hypnotizing you. Minho looked like an incubus—eager to suck the life out of you. “Where's your attitude, hmm? Show me what you like.”
You can see your bare chest heaving with each breath as you look down at him. “Fin... Fingers?”
He tilts his head to the side, big eyes full of mischief. “Fingers? You're asking?”
“I… I don't-”
“You don't know? Of course you do. You're just not thinking straight. Maybe it's stress, right? ‘Cause I'm not good enough?” Without a warning, the tip of his tongue lightly zigzags up and down your pussy. Up, and down again—avoiding your clit each time.
“You see,” he says, letting his saliva mix with your arousal, “if I use my fingers now, you'll come too fast.” Minho leaves a long peck on your core. “I know that's what you want, but what about dragging it out a little bit? I think you'd like it better.” He flattens his tongue and your body squirms as he licks up. “But I mean, I wouldn't know.”
Minho's being painfully annoying, but you deserve it. He takes his time dragging his tongue through your core, lapping your arousal and smearing it on your cunt—making your legs shake every now and again. His right hand keeps your squirming hips still as the left one slowly caresses it's way up your body, until he reaches your chest.
He's looking up at you the entire time, watching every single twitch and reaction to the flow of his tongue on you. When he finally latches onto your clit, you swear you lose your mind a little. Your hips stutter and he follows you promptly, big brown eyes burning through you. The sight of Minho on his knees being illuminated by the moonlight is so ethereal it's almost haunting, and at that moment, you know you'll never really forget this view—you'll never forget how he's making you feel. He really is like a incubus in a way, imprinting his mark on the back of your mind forever.
Impulsiveness takes over and you force your hips forward, the hand in the back of your boyfriend's head thrusting him against your cunt. Minho's eyes turn impossibly darker, his smirk much more noticeable than before. When he closes his eyes and his eyebrows furrow, you already know you're gone—instincts making you hold onto his locks harsher than ever.
The soft sucking turns progressively rougher, your eyes squeeze shut as his tongue draws figure-eights on your clit very softly in contrast to how quickly his lips are working the same nerve.
When your eyes start to water from how overwhelmed you feel, the telltale begins. As soon as your body starts shaking and your hips squirm away from his hold, you open your eyes to look at him just in time to watch as he completely removes himself off of you.
Your heart drops, hot tears running down your shamed cheeks as you wobble a bit, trying to find balance without his hands on your hips.
“Fuck, can you even feel anything, baby?” You feel the ghost of gentle fingertips on your labia, following up and down the slit.
You can tell through your watery eyesight and the poor-lit room that he's now paying attention to the way his fingers play with your cunt, smirk wiped clean off his voice as he watches your arousal coat his fingers. “If I try something like this-” He gently pushes his ring and middle fingers inside you, slowly curling the tip of his fingers in come-hither motion, low voice filling up the emptiness, “does it feel good?”
Does it feel good? You're long, long gone. Minho's voice sounds like it's coming from inside your head, the stimulation feels like it reflects in white orbits in your vision. You can no longer force yourself to open your eyes—it's for the better, anyway. You'd probably pass out if you caught a glimpse of his pretty brown eyes by now.
Does it feel good? You don't remember how you got yourself in this situation—you don't even have the brain power to form a phrase involving anything but religious chants of his name. You've become nothing but a warm body for Minho to touch and use as he pleases, you'd be satisfied with the smallest of touch he'd be kind enough to reach for.
His pouty lips find your clit again and suddenly, fireworks start setting off in your insides way too fast. Your stomach muscles contract in a way that's entirely new for you and you feel like you'll fall to the floor if he doesn't support all your weight. Your start to feel your throat straining, the constant whining suddenly getting higher. Your eyes are shut so tightly you can see blobs of colour behind your pitch-black eyelids. You think you're out of it for a little bit, but you can still hear his voice.
“Yeah, I don't think I'm doing it right.” The raspiness of his tone almost puts you to sleep—his fingers are still inside you, now pumping back and forth, very slowly. You can hear the embarrassingly loud gushing sound of his fingers moving inside you, and you open your eyes to find your boyfriend's face and chest covered in your arousal.
“I, I-” You don't know exactly what you have to say, but his loving eyes and the kiss he pressed to your thigh were not helping you find it out.
“You ruined my fucking jersey.” His lopsided smile makes your breath hitch.
“Need you.”
He tilts his head again. “Do you? Really?”
Your head is heavy as you nod, and you try your best to not lose focus. You know what he needs to hear to finally drop the act, and you know you should give in before your body gives out completely, but there's a little twisted voice inside your head asking how far you can take this—your body seems to be addicted to the thrill, moans immediately spilling out your lips when his fingers pick up pace.
“You're not satisfied?” He asks, voice sugary sweet. His pouty lips pepper quick pecks on your inner thigh, expectant eyes looking up at you. “I’m not sure I can help you, though. I mean, if it doesn’t feel good it’ll just get painful at some point.”
You stutter your words through a strained voice. “I’ll let you know if it does.” It takes your entire being to attempt to sound demanding. “We can keep going for now.”
An amused countenance takes over his sharp features. “Oh, we can? Alright, ma’am. Thank you so much for letting me know.” He stands up, and the sudden shift in atmosphere rising goosebumps on your skin as he now looks down on you.
Minho stands tall before you, the lighting no longer illuminating his doll-like eyes—shadows now cover most of his face, long hair hiding his gaze. As if he can hear your heartbeat picking up pace, he gets close to whisper against your lips, eyes hazy as he looks down at you. “I think we gotta stretch you out a bit more, hmm? If it didn't feel good, you're probably still tight.”
Good God, you hate this man. You know what he’s trying to get out of you—you’re just not sure if you want to give him the satisfaction yet.
So, you look up at him with the sweetest eyes you can possibly muster. “Don’t worry, bunny. You’re not that big.”
He stares at you for a few seconds, the smile on his lips doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Bench. On your back.”
Although it seems you’ve worn his patience thin, you stare back. The cogs in your brain working their full capacity trying to figure out a way to make his life a bit harder. A disappointed sigh leaves his lips as he walks towards his locker, looking for his stuff to leave.
As always, his action is effective. Minho really doesn’t need much to convince you to give in, after all, you know what you’ll get when you do.
Silence fills the room as you discard your shirt all the way and lay on the bench, legs bent at the knees, heels resting on the cool surface. Anxiety bubbles under your sensitive skin when you hear Minho taking off his clothes. You rest you weight on your elbows to watch—his jersey was gone when you got to look at him, shoulder pads following suit.
“What made you change your mind?” He opted to leave his white tank top on as he unbuckles his belt, one knee—supported by the bench—between your legs. The moonlight now shining entirely on him.
“Don't like the emptiness…” Your voice trails off, and you don't mind staring shamelessly as he puts on a little show for you—one hand on your knee and running down your thigh, the other stroking his cock.
He scoffs, “You say shit like this but doesn't like it when I say you act like a hole.” He taps his tip on your clit, earning a loud whine from you. “Make up your mind, bunny.”
Minho stays kneeled before you, the cloth of his tank top so thin you could make out the lines of his chest and abs—the muscles on his pale arms shining iridescent in the lighting.
Your boyfriend moved his hips, slowly grinding over your slit. Your eyes roll to the back of your head without much resistance, mouth watering with each nudge of his tip to your clit. “Whatever you said about me not being too big…” He leans down to leave a quick peck on your lips. “Keep that in mind.”
With absolutely no warning and much faster than your brain would've been able to process, Minho buries himself as deep as he possibly can inside of you. He lifts your hips off the bench with ease, sitting on his heels—his hold on you so tight you bounced back against him with each thrust of his.
The stamina of the man above you is unfaltering. You can't do much besides watch him: his biceps flex to support the weight of your hips every time he slams you back on his cock, veins prominent on his arms. Minho's face and neck are covered in the prettiest shade of pink—his wide chest, blushed with the same colour, is struggling with each breath he takes. The moonlight highlights the droplets of sweat sliding down his neck, and he can't seem to decide whether he wants to throw his head back or look down at where your hips align.
Keeping himself together is the hardest when Minho looks down at you. He got his pretty girl all splayed out for him; her eyebrows furrowed in utter pleasure as the whiniest sounds constantly pour out of her pouty lips. The way your body reacts to him is hypnotic—it's so fun for him, how every little thing he does makes your eyes roll back. The power trip he gets when he watches your skin shiver wherever his hands touch is better than anything he's ever experienced. All because it's you. Because he gets you to feel like this. The fact you're so drunk on Minho gets him even more addicted to the feeling of your body shaking under him. So when your hips suddenly spring back to life rolling desperately against his and Minho's name seems to be the only coherent thought your brain can formulate, his desire increases tenfold.
You have no control over how loud your moans or the smack of Minho's hips against yours are. He lowers you back on the bench and is fully above you in the blink of an eye—holding your face as he kisses you so deeply you struggle to keep up. His thrust become less timed but continue as deep as they were. Minho throws his head back, moaning loudly, but quickly brings his gaze back to your lips. His eyebrows are furrowed, lips touching yours as he whispers.
“Come on, baby. You know how much I love to feel you coming around me. Be good.”
Be good, be good. Of course you want to be good. When his lips touch yours again, euphoria explodes inside of you. Your eyes being squeezed shut seem to enhance your other senses a bit—you feel every inch of Minho's cock grinding inside you, his hands burning hot where they touch, his loud moans and the wetness spattering between your legs being the only things crystal clear in your cloudy mind.
“Holy shit, fuck. I'm close, I'm so close.” He pants, face buried in your neck.
Your weak hands gently soothe his back, you mindlessly mumble your words, “Wanna feel you coming inside me, love. Want it so bad.”
His strong arms wrap around your waist when he comes, cock buried deep inside of you. Minho shudders with each movement of your hands against his skin, as you now gently scratch his back under his tank top. It feels like a long time has passed until he breaks the silence.
“We're taking the numbing cream home, by the way.” He gets his face off your neck and rests his weight on his elbows. His right hand cups your jaw, thumb playing with your drooled lips. “You're not done paying for that attitude.”
#can u tell minhos outfit at kcon also inspired this#can u tell#skz smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids smut#skz imagines#stray kids x reader#lee know smut#lee know x reader#lee minho smut#skz x reader#lee minho x y/n#stray kids x y/n#skz x you#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee know x y/n#lee minho x you#lee minho x reader
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Hello hello! I love your work, can you write about megumi being so deeply in love with reader, like straight up head over heels for her, he makes everything about reader, reader is his first priority, he babies her, etc? 😊
i love this 💕
megumi x reader
from being a dedicated listener, to going all out of his way just for you, megumi was just THAT boyfriend.
maybe it was the way he looks at you, the way he brushes a strand away from your face, or the way he memorizes every single detail about you.
he hadn’t planned on memorizing all your favorites, but somehow, he did.
he knew the exact way you took your coffee, the way you do your makeup, your likes, and your dislikes.
“i got you macarons. i hope it’s still your favorite, baby.” he says.
“thanks, how’d you know?”
“saw it in my notes.”
“notes?”
“notes about your favorites.”
it was the way he showed he loved you: a collection of tiny, thoughtful gestures.
you didn’t have to ask; he just knew.
somehow, that made you feel more seen, more loved, than any words ever could.
it was the way he would offer to peel your shrimps since you hated peeling it yourself,
or the way he would always cut your fruits, charge your phone, or brush your hair.
he would ALWAYS put you first.
when megumi orders takeout, he always chooses the place with your favorite dumplings, even if he’d been craving something else.
and whenever he talked about the future, he’d catch himself saying “we” without thinking—we’ll go here, we’ll try that.
to him, everything felt like it had a little more meaning, a little more life, with you in it.
sometimes, he’d crack jokes here and there;
“do you think this new lipstick suits me?” you ask him.
“very much, baby.”
“really? its smudge proof.”
“testing please.”
but there are also serious ones.
“i love you very much.” he says and you lay on his chest.
“i bet you say that to everyone.”
“i do tell everyone that i love you.”
he might be an imperturbable person, but in those quiet, unspoken moments, he realized—his world was no longer complete without you at its center.
#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#jjk x black reader#jjk x fem reader#megumi fushiguro#megumi fushiguro fluff#megumi#megumi fushiguro imagines#megumi imagines#megumi imagine#megumi x you#jjk megumi#jujutsu megumi#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fluff#megumi x y/n#megumi x black reader#megumi x fem reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro x you#jjk drabbles#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#fushiguro megumi
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Some Viktor (Arcane) Musings:
The thing is, I think Viktor must have told Jayce about his illness at some point in S1 before Viktor collapsed and ended up in the hospital
The reason being that it's literally impossible to ignore how much Viktor's health deteriorates in the 6-7 years between 1.03 and 1.04. There's no way he could not give Jayce some clue of what's going on with him.
But, for my own purpose and that of the fics I write, my thought was that Viktor maybe... downplayed the severity.
For example, my take is that if you have this fissure illness, you generally don't live past 30 in the undercity and Viktor knows this. He must have had some sense of a timeline, because his headlong rush to secure a legacy indicates the he knew he probably wasn't going to die of old age.
This, I think, he would be upfront with Jayce about. That they have to advance Hextech to the point where it's making breakthroughs in disciplines other than weightlessness and teleportation if Viktor has any chance of living a long life. Jayce would be on board with this fully, I think. Magic can do anything so if they're fast, and dedicated, chances are they can find something that will also improve biology too.
But, I think Viktor lied or played down how short of a time he actually had. Like, he told Jayce he probably wouldn't die of old age without Hextech intervention, and Jayce took that and like any sheltered, naive Piltie from a good family he thought, "This is awful, Viktor might never see 80!" Thinking that Viktor might, without intervention, only live to see, like... 60.
I also headcanon that once you start coughing up blood, it's a bit like TB, you don't have much time after that. So in 1.02/1.03, Viktor is driven to make a legacy for himself knowing he doesn't have a lot of time, but he might even still be fooling himself to think he's got more time than he does because of his move to Piltover. He has cleaner air here, better nutrition, better sun exposure, an easier life, etc. If the life expectancy in the underground for this disease is 25-30 or less, why should he maybe see 40 in Piltover?
But then... tragedy strikes. He starts coughing blood sometime during the time skip. His health rapidly deteriorates, and he doesn't tell Jayce that this means he's probably only got a few months to a few years left. He basically allows Jayce to keep living with the illusion that Viktor has limited time, because that would be unavoidable to realize just by looking at him, but still maybe decades remaining.
What compounds the problem here is that Viktor also tends to obfuscate his need for rapid intervention by posing them as the needs of the undercity which goes straight over Jayce's head. He tells Jayce they need to focus on new uses for Hextech to help people in the undercity now, it can't wait, they're running out of time, and goddammit Viktor, stop hiding your needs behind altruism, just be selfish, just tell Jayce that you're not talking about the undercity, you're talking about yourself and he would have dropped everything to help you!
Because this is Viktor's biggest flaw: he lies to himself and he lies to Jayce about why he's pursuing science at such a breakneck pace, and I don't even think he knows he's doing it. He's become so accustomed to the idea that he's not allowed to be selfish, not allowed to pose his own desperate desire to live as a priority, that he keeps fucking couching it in the needs of others so Jayce has no way to know just how desperate Viktor really is because Viktor doesn't admit it even to himself.
And this becomes a bigger problem writ large when Viktor creates his cult to "cure" other people because he can't fucking function if he's not posing his self-serving desires as things that also help the group. Babygirl, what is wrong with you?
So now instead of just perfecting himself in very scientifically troubling ways, he feels the need to spread around the cure that he made for himself to others to justify it, even if it doesn't fit them and in fact is horrifying to give the same solution to a bunch of people and fix things they never asked to be fixed.
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what red flags should i look for in a man?
I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, just any human being across the board. Ok so:
When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.
Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.
Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.
People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.
Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.
If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.
Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.
It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.
Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.
This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.
Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.
People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.
Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.
The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.
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